Do you ever let yourself stop? Take a break? Slow down? Rest?
Or in more extreme circumstances…. Put something on hold, or even….give up? Quit?
I don’t really do much of this…I’m a hustler (and a little bit of a perfectionist) at heart. Though my less-than-stellar attention span allows me to take little breaks now and then, to hop on over to something else, get really excited about something new and shiny, and possibly not come back to the task at hand until it’s urgent.
When I’m feeling on the verge of burnout, however? Or something like my kiddo needing me, one of us coming down with an illness, or something more urgent like the death of a loved one or any other emergency… I allow myself to stop — or, rather, the circumstance forces me to stop. I’m reminded that nothing is more important than the health and happiness of my family.
…My own health and happiness?… well… that takes a back seat sometimes.
Unless I’m pregnant. Because my health (and happiness, truly) can effect the health and future of this little being, not just me. It’s pretty universally accepted that we have to take good care of our pregnant mamas, because they’re holding within them the seeds of the future. I get it, and I feel it from others, I truly appreciate the reverence for me and this being I’m working (pretty darn hard if I do say so myself) to bring into the world in a healthy, happy way.
Some days, though, I sort of forget. Forget to put myself (and this baby!) first. I also don’t think we should celebrate and care for ourselves in pregnancy more than in “regular life” — we could ALWAYS be taking such good care of ourselves. I get that we can’t always do that, though, or don’t always prioritize self-care until it’s somewhat urgent.
So… what if we changed that?
What would it look like to put yourself first, on a regular basis? Without a health emergency looming?
It’s also pretty universally recognized that to have the healthiest pregnancy possible you would want to be in the best shape you can be before getting pregnant. Would that knowledge change how you treat yourself? If you could think about those future generations being effected by how you act/what you eat/what you think/drink in those years leading up to pregnancy (if that’s your thing)?
I know I only became aware of that connection when I was trying to get pregnant and not having immedate success. I wasn’t very healthy; I was overweight and my doctors suspected I had something like PCOS or a thyroid condition. Thankfully (though frustrating at the time to not have a diagnosis and a magic pill that could “fix” me) there wasn’t anything seriously wrong, and I was able to alter my diet and lifestyle enough for my body to find better balance and health, able to grow and birth my daughter in a super happy and healthy way. And to do it all again with relative ease a few years later!
I’m so grateful for the education I’ve had in health and wellness in the last few years. It’s opened my eyes to how blind I was to the effect self-care and awareness of eating and thinking habits have on my everyday life.
In finding this focus on self-care, I’ve been lucky enough to align it with my business mission of helping women all over the world to learn to be happy, healthy and wealthy. I am hoping to inspire countless women to align their home, health and work with their true life’s purpose, and to do this work in the most centered, holistic and healthy way.
With all of that in mind, as I build my business AND grow my family, I have realized in some ways that I’m not walking my talk.
I have been burning the candle at both ends, striving, pushing and stressing out to get things together so I can take time off in March and April to welcome this baby.
Hurrying up to slow down. Pushing so I can rest.
Not that this isn’t sometimes the way things go, and I’m not saying it’s not ok to push sometimes, to hustle. My message of balance, self-care and wellness, though? If I’m not walking my talk then I can’t very well be a good spokesperson for that message. And I truly believe it is the key to lasting whole-life wellness.
Throughout my pregnancy I’ve been relatively well, though at times succumbing to intense fatigue, awful nausea and pretty constant heartburn. Not to mention the other random bodily pains and stiffness.
It seems I’ve put my health and that of the baby on autopilot — I’m getting regular chiropractic care, massages and support from my midwives. This has all been well and good, and we’ve been lucky to be healthy and having a pretty uneventful pregnancy. It’s normal to be uncomfortable and tired when pregnant. Right?
Well, I’m going to see how much I can turn that around.
I’d like to feel vibrant.
I’d like the journey to reflect the destination (thank you Danielle LaPorte and The Desire Map for that one!). I’d like to feel relaxed and well as much as possible, not just at the last possible moment and because I’m somehow forced to slow down.
I’d like to take the compliment that I’m glowing — I’d like to believe it, to feel it. And I’d like to put myself first.
One of the things I’ve been striving/pushing/stressing about was my upcoming online group coaching program, THRIVE, which is all about self-care, detoxing and decluttering all that’s holding you back in your body, home, calendar, relationships and work. It had been scheduled to being on December 30th, and I postponed it to February 11th. It’s really hard for me to say this, for fear of looking totally flaky, among other adjectives — I’ve decided to cancel it once again.
This was a big decision. I had been planning to hold free preview calls starting this weekend, and launch it in a big way this week.
My computer kept crashing. Nothing seemed to be working. I wasn’t feeling well. I was soooo tired. My assistant was having trouble on her end. Technology wasn’t on our side, and we were pushing up against a close deadline. Too close.
I wondered if I was just scared. This was something new for me, something bigger than I had ever previously put together. Free preview calls were new for me, this type of launch was new, and the format of this class was to have guest speakers and me record audios and videos that I would send out to participants at various intervals, plus live webinars during the course. All new to me.
I was out of my comfort zone. So was I just scared, or was it totally impractical and causing me too much stress??
Nevermind being pregnant & raising a 3 year old, then there’s the everyday work of marriage, housekeeping (who am I kidding, my house is never clean. sorry.), groceries/cooking….plus I’m still in school, in the Integrative Nutrition Immersion Program!
Yet I know women who have done it. Done all of this. Launched a big program while giving birth, while having another young child at home. And it looked relatively easy.
So what’s wrong with me?
Nothing is wrong with me. I’m not a failure.
It’s hard. I’m having trouble. I’m stressing out. And different things are harder and easier for different people. Everyone has different tolernces for “hard” and stress, and different comfort levels with, say, technology, or dirty floors. We all have different zones of genius (turns out mine is decidedly NOT within mailing list/payment integration software), and different experience levels and knowledge that we bring to each moment, each project.
The mentor I’m mentally comparing myself to? She had held similar programs before. She wasn’t reinventing/creating a whole new way of doing business for herself while also giving birth. She had structures and systems already in place and was able to launch during her maternity leave because it was all set up in advance. And I’m sure it WASN’T easy — I just wasn’t in her house, seeing how it all worked. She didn’t do a behind-the-scenes video to show us how messy her house was or how sleep-deprived she was.
I’m not saying anyone should do that, either. It was very inspirational to see how she did it, and how she made it *look* easy.
And now I’m here to tell you that I’ve decided not to do it. To let go of striving/pushing/stressing, at least for the time being. Sure I’ll re-launch in the summer, and I’m sure I’ll encounter some stress around it (stress is an inevitable part of life! It keeps us on our toes! I’m all for stretching out of your comfort zone!), and I’m also going to commit to doing a better job of taking care of MYSELF first, so it can be easier. More joyful. I’m giving myself TIME to make it easier, to not have to push so hard.
I’m not really big on the words “giving up” — however, “letting go” is a phrase I can get behind. The vision board I made in my New Year’s Eve Vision Board Party has very few words on it. Two of the phrases I chose to include were:
I’m taking those words to heart today. I’m letting go of some of the striving.
I will be back with some serious hustle, no worry about that, but today, today I’m going to take some deep breaths and just be. Put my hands on my belly and be with this being growing so amazingly within my body. Here we are, fears, flaws and all. And we’re not going anywhere.
P.S. Putting this program on hold has opened my schedule up a bit for the next month — so if you’re feeling ready to put yourself first and get some 1:1 time coaching with me, now’s the time! I’ll be taking a break for most of March and April. Click HERE register for a one-hour Breakthrough to Clarity coaching session. If you’re not called, no worries — we can catch up again in May!
P.P.S. I’m still going to hold the February 2nd and March 2nd Vision Board Parties — they are so fun and ALL ABOUT the self-care! Music, chocolate, collaging — what could be better?! We’ll do a little writing and meditation, too. It’s so much fun and I hope you will join us if you’re in the neighborhood. Details HERE.