I’m giving away a 2012 calendar to a lucky reader this week! The calendar features 12 watercolor paintings of wild edible plants, it measures 4-1/2″ x 11″, spiral bound and ready to hang. {They are available to purchase here, there’s as printable version, too!}

Entries are open through Monday January 9 at 12 noon EST (entries are closed). Just leave a comment on this post to be entered & tell me your favorite thing about 2011 and what you’re most looking forward to in 2012.

For me, my favorite favorite most amazing thing in 2011 was beginning to have conversations with my little one. For reals, she’s a PERSON with THOUGHTS and feelings and dreams and joys and hurts and questions questions questions. It’s so amazing to finally be able to hear all about them. She’s still working on her sentence structure (”does I have a sister?” was the best question yesterday. My answer? “no, you don’t have a sister” and her reply was “no, I don’t. She’s at work.” Hah! I guess “work” is where people are when you can’t see them? Pretty good).

And what are we looking forward to in 2012? All sorts of big things. Growing my business in ways I have only dreamed of. Making real plans, accountability, scheming and ACTING on these plans! Yes, so I suppose what I’m looking forward to in 2012 is action! Last year was a looking-inward hibernating sort of year, just reveling in our little family life and developing a rhythm to that. This year we’re adding to that rhythm and it already feels really good. Yay 2012!

**update: the winner is Samantha! Congrats and thanks to all of you for playing along!**

The last few years have seemed to come with a lot of new emotions. Every once in a while I have a feeling that I cannot identify. I feel all “weird” and “scattered” and basically confused. I wouldn’t usually admit that to just anyone, but that’s the feeling. And I wouldn’t say it feels good.

As a kid I was pretty much an over-achiever in school, in girl-scouts, in 4-H, in Barbie-collecting, you name it. That started to wane in my sleep-deprived high school years, came back occasionally in college (”I’m the best darn Stage Manager this theatre has ever seen!” I’d think to myself as I sipped my double-shot mocha latte). This is all to explain that the feeling of confusion has been somewhat foreign to me. It’s possible that I’m finally just letting it in. I don’t have the time or energy to push it away, to pretend it away; wanting to be more my authentic self, maybe that’s occasionally a non-over-achiever confused self? And that’s ok?

Some of the other new emotions, once I got quiet with them and managed to identify them have been separation anxiety (worst when we first put Natalie to sleep in her own room around 6 months, and something that kept me up for a series of awful sleepless nights until I realized that it wasn’t going away and would probably recur often throughout our life together, probably worse and stronger that first time she gets on an airplane or drives a car or, you know, goes on a sleep-over), unbridled LOVE and JOY for beholding this amazing person I have had a hand in creating (nope, hadn’t felt that before, either), and a really strong fear of rejection.

That is not to say that I hadn’t had fear of rejection before, but this time/this year/in this place in my life it has seemed more real. More important. There is more to lose. My time feels more valuable and I don’t want to waste it. I want to maximize the time I have to work, and also the time I have with Nat. I also want to make sure her experiences are the best possible and the most enriching and the most fun. Of course this is impossible, to ensure all of this, but it’s what I seem to be trying to do. In my mind. And I need to cut it out. It’s genuinely wasting my time to think about it all the time. Sheesh.

So here I am, working on enjoying the moment once again, isn’t that what it’s really all about? And also playing big and making important choices and big decisions and changing for the better, growing. Trying to banish the fear-mongering inner gremilins. Care to get on board?

this is the face we all love to see.

But lately, there have been a lot of tears and angry words around here. A lot of demanding and whining and “NO!” & “I don’t want that!” “I don’t want to!” and “I don’t want my diaper changed!” Literally, those are the words she is saying — her verbal development has been astounding, her vocabulary so advanced and her comprehension so amazing. Her pronunciation is even impressive. But therefore, we seem to be experiencing “the terrible twos” about 6 months early! I hope this means we’ll get it all over with soon, too.

A knowledgable teacher/parent told me today that all this rebellion and resisting might be a product of developing her independence and sense of self, based on the idea that she just recently mastered the words “I” and “my” and “me”. Ok. So we shall try our best to celebrate this milestone and the fact that she can use her pronouns correctly! It really is amazing. If totally frustrating, draining and exhausting. A friend used the word “depleted” today — to describe the way she was feeling as a parent of a toddler these days. And I completely agree. That’s the overarching feeling I’m experiencing. One of my solutions is working on finding some daycare options and hoping we can figure out a way to pay for it once we find the best place! Quite a project.

I know I pretty much do this every year, but it’s time for some reminiscing. Five years ago today yesterday (who thought I would finish a blog post in a day? Not me!), John and I were married. It was a warm fall day, with amazing foliage all around, and we were surrounded by so many of the people we love; it really was one of the best days ever!

It feels a little more special this year, I guess the five-year-mark is a milestone, and also to be sharing this day with Natalie. She’s napping now (of course, how else would I do this?) — but we have lots of fun planned for the day, also including a toddler-less dinner out for mommy and daddy (rev: we did this! It was awesome! We went to Nudel — YUM!), but she’ll have fun with her Grammy so she won’t even notice!

So here’s to love, marriage, babies, all the fun and awesome stuff, plus they yuck in-between that makes us appreciate these love-soaked days, and to all the people who help hold up a couple’s love and convince us to share it with the world. Happy Anniversary, darlin’, I love you so much!

]]> http://www.lauriecoyledesigns.com/blog/2011/10/five-years/feed/ 0 http://www.lauriecoyledesigns.com/blog/2011/10/3073/ http://www.lauriecoyledesigns.com/blog/2011/10/3073/#comments Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:12:24 +0000 Laurie May http://www.lauriecoyledesigns.com/blog/?p=3073

I was going to reopen my Etsy shop this weekend.

But instead, I’m going to cook, and clean, and sort baby clothes. Do yoga, share photos, send presents to new babies and friends. Buy wedding gifts and eat brownies. Pet the cat. Try to be nicer to my amazing husband. Plan a beach vacation. And maybe even watch some “Master Chef” on hulu. I am keeping busy and learning to live a little simpler and enjoy spending time with Nat and John and friends and our dog. I have been mending toys and clothes, but I haven’t made anything in over a moth. And I’m ok with that.

It’s some sort of transition and I’m embracing it.

If you had told me a few years ago, or even one year ago, that I’d be leaning away from owning a small artistic/creative business to be a “homemaker” with a part-time job in someone else’s business, I would have probably said you were crazy. But here we are. I’m trying to go on a low-stress diet, and I think it’s working. More-or-less, of course.

For now, it’s a wait-and-see, and that’s really ok. Isn’t it? I still have big things up my sleeves, and I’m not abandoning the creating or the business I’ve built, but I’m pushing it a little farther back on the shelf I put it on last month. I hope it doesn’t get too dusty up there, but I think I know how to clean it up if it does.

a whole lotta living going on around here these days. The trees are humming with cicadas and we are swimming and grilling and laughing and sweating and picking flowers and enjoying being together. Singing along to “Baby Signing Time” and loving it. At least for the first 15 or so times each day. hehe.

There’s something in the air these days.

and no, it’s not just pollen or humidity

I’m talking about the idea of stepping back, unplugging and slowing down.

I mentioned the idea of re-evaluating a few weeks ago, and the idea has been growing and growing in my mind. I need some time to think, to breathe, to make space. I need space in my house, both my physical/literal house, but also my metaphorical/sipritual house. Things are getting pretty jumbled up in there. It’s been over a year now since Natalie joined our family, and I need to take stock of how we’re living. What we’re spending our days on, how we move and grow in our home, how we take care of ourselves and each other, and seemingly less important these days (but really something I’d like to become more important again) how we make money and how we work, what we DO. Because really, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives, right? I think I read that on an inspirational magnet somewhere…. but it’s so true!

here are a few of the blog posts that resound with me lately:

Christine at Lavendar & Limes went on vacation
&
Maeg at Edison Rex went on walkabout (and won’t be back at her blog/business till September — inspiring!)

So… I’m thinking of following in their footsteps. I already closed my Etsy shop for my staycation, and I think it might have to stay closed until I either have new work to add to it, or have a new brand/business to reopen it with. I’m not making any promises or grand statements or creating any self-imposed time limits on this one. I think I’ve learned my lesson with that. But I think I will be back, and I imagine I will be looking for more accountability from y’all. This isn’t even another I’m-not-going-to-blog post, but it is something of a “get out of blogging free” card, if you catch my meaning. I’m unplugging, and we’ll see where it goes from there. I feel better already. Don’t you?

Does this idea make sense to you? Does it call to you? Then do it! Unplug! Make art! Make space! Play and create and lounge and read and do yoga and garden and cook and nap and go to bed early and stop comparing yourself with bloggers/facebook friends/famous people — just be you and enjoy your life, today. Have an average day!

This baby of ours is quickly turning into a KID. She is blowing us away by learning new words every day (and repeating everything we say!). She is also a master walker/runner and working on her climbing skills.

Over the 4th of July weekend we spent lots of time with family members she’d either never met or hadn’t seen in a while, but she learned everyone’s name! Some are truncated versions (”Julee” for Juliet, but it’ll do!), but they are all adorable versions of the names — “sah-rah” might be my favorite. And she knows a lot of Sarah/Saras so it’s a good one to learn!

She has also started taking our hands and dragging us where she wants to go. She’s very clear about what she wants. And takes after her mama and gets SUPER mad when she doesn’t get what it is she’s asking for. hehe.

summer!!!